Tortured Mind, Body and Soul
by sammygirl1963
Summary: Is Sammy being tortured by a dead Jess, or is it something worse? Why doesn't Dean believe him? Guilty/Hurt/Limp Sam, Guilty, Angsty Dean, Understanding John.
1. Chapter 1

**Tortured; Mind, Body and Soul**

**Disclaimer: **If I owned them, we wouldn't have been left with the season ending cliffhanger that Kripke left us with.

**Author's Note: **Blue Peanut M&M gave me this plot bunny that just wouldn't leave me alone, and this is the result. Hope you enjoy it.

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Sam woke up early to find the bed next to his empty. _"Wonder where Dean went"_ he thought as he stretched his long limbs and climbed out of the bed. He looked at the clock resting on the dresser between his and Dean's bed to see that it was nine o'clock.

"Wow, it's later than I thought" he said to himself as he walked to his duffle and took out some clean clothing. As he walked towards the bathroom, he saw a note lying on Dean's pillow that said, _Gone for Breakfast, be back soon, Dean._

Sam walked into the bathroom to take a shower hoping that Dean had not used up all the hot water before he left. He slid off his sleep pants and tee shirt and climbed into the shower. He stood under the massaging spray as it rained down upon his body. The force of the water felt good as it massaged away the tightness in his neck and muscles. He hadn't slept very good last night, but at least he was able to hide it from Dean.

Afterhe finished his shower, Sam walked out of the bathroom dressed in a pair of blue jeans and immediately froze at what he saw standing there before his very eyes.

"Jess,you c-can't be, I d-don't understand...how can you b-be here? Sam said in stunned disbelief. Jess had died over two months ago in a fire in their apartment. How could she be standing in front of him now?**"Why **Sam? Why did you let me die? It's all your fault, you killed me!" Jess screamed out in frustration. Sam was stunned as he listened to Jess screaming at him. Dean had told him it wasn't his fault and he was finally starting to believe him. Could Dean be wrong?

"I'm sorry Jess, I never meant for you to get hurt" Sam said as tears started falling down his face. **He **felt a ton of guilt weighing down on his shoulders for not having told Jess about the premonitions. If only he had, then maybe Jess would still be alive today. He should never have went to Stanford to live his dream. Because he had reached out for his dreams, the love of his life had been killed. **'Sorry's **not good enough Sam. You took everything from me. I HATE you." Jess said as she reached out and used a sharp fingernail to draw a thin, deep line across Sam's cheek that looked as if he had cut himself with a knife. "You will pay for taking my life Sam Winchester!" she said and disappeared in a whisper of smoke as the door knob to the motel room started to turn.

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Deanwas just returning from a breakfast run to McDonald's. He had a bag loaded with Sausage and egg biscuits, hash browns, cinnamon rolls and apple pie held between his teeth. In one hand, he balanced two cups of coffee while opening the door with the other hand. "Hey Sammy, about time you woke up princess" he said as he walked into the room. He placed the bag on the table and looked over towards his brother. "Come on and….What the hell happened to you?" he said as he saw huge expressive eyes glistening with tears, a pale face and a thin line of blood cascading down Sam's cheek."I--I--I'm not sure" Sam said in a shaky voice. "I don't know what happened. Jess was, ah, she was here, I think."

Sam's mind just couldn't comprehend what had happened. He had been having nightmares about Jess and the way that she had died. In his dreams, she blamed him for her death, Was Jess coming back to take revenge? No, that couldn't be right. Jess loved him, didn't she?

Dean watched as a myriad of emotions crossed Sammy's face. He watched as pain and guilt flashed across his face. Sam reminded him of a little boy who had just lost his best friend. He absolutely hated seeing that look on his little brother's face

"Sammy, you okay?' he said as he walked over and squeezed his brother on the shoulder in support.

"Yeah, I'm fine Dean"

Dean knew that his baby brother was lying but chose not to call him on it. He knew that Sam had had a rough night last night even though he tried not to show it and didn't want to press him too much about what had happened.

"What happened to your face Sammy?" he said as he walked to the bathroom to get a clean wash cloth and some peroxide to clean the cut on Sammy's face.

Sam reached his hand up to his cheek to find blood on his fingers when he took his hand away from it.

"I don't know, I c-can't remember" he said and dropped his eyes to the floor, unable to look Dean in the eyes. How could he tell his brother that Jess had attacked him. Dean would think he was crazy. Hell, he was beginning to believe that himself.

As Dean cleaned the cut on Sammy's face, a thought began to take hold in his mind and he didn't like where it was leading. _What if Sammy was starting to hurt himself because of his guilt over Jess. _Surely Sam wouldn't do something like that. Dean thought he knew Sam pretty good, but they had been apart for a few years now and maybe Sam had changed from the kid he had raised. He would just have to keep a close eye on his baby brother.

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Dean and Sam sat down to eat their breakfast before it got cold.

"Okay, so what are we looking at Sammy" Dean asked as Sam looked though his notes for the upcoming hunt.

"Well, it says here that seven suspicious deaths have occurred over the last three years in the old Fairview Mansion. The article states that James Fairview was a wealthy man who had a taste for young women, the younger the better. He was accused of molesting ten teenage girls, all under the age of sixteen, but was never prosecuted.

Dean was incredulous as he asked, "What, how in the hell could the perverted old bastard get away with molesting so many girls?"

"Well" said Sammy, "The police assume that he paid off their families to get them to drop the charges."

"Makes sense" said Dean as he took a bite of his sausage biscuit. 'What happened to the scumbag?"

Sam scanned down through his notes until he found the answer. "Says here that he was found decapitated in his house and that he was tied to a steel beam." Sam shivered before saying the next part. "It also says that he was castrated and that it most likely happened before his death."

"Sounds like he got just what he deserved" said Dean with a smirk on his face. "Who do they think killed the old man?"

"The case was never closed" said Sam. He then went on to say "The police assume that possibly the father of one of girl's had killed him, but there was never any solid proof. No arrests were made and the case remains unsolved."

Dean thought for a minute and said, "Sounds like this could be a malevolent spirit to me. Get your gear together Sammy. We're going on a hunt."

Dean and Sam packed their duffle bags before heading out of the room. They locked the door and walked over to the shiny, black Impala that sparkled in the parking lot and loaded their things into the trunk and climbed into the car.

As Dean pulled out of the parking lot, he looked over at his baby brother. _"I hope you're ready for this" _he thought as he looked at Sammy. He was still concerned about Sam's frame of mind after hearing Sam say that he thought Jess was in their motel room earlier.

The drive to the mansion was relatively quiet until Dean turned the radio on. He couldn't stand the sound of silence and Sammy didn't seem to be in the mood for talking. He watched as Sam seemed startled by something on the side of the road, but then quickly masked his face so that it wouldn't show.

Sam was glad that Dean had finally turned the radio on. He was uncomfortable with the silence that had taken over the ride, but he didn't know what to say to Dean. It felt weird not to be able to talk to his brother about Jess.

As he stared out the side window, he was taken aback as he saw Jess standing on the sidewalk with her wavy blonde hair blowing in the breeze. Jess was looking right at him. He saw the look of hatred on her face as she sneered at him with evil eyes. He was startled for just a second, then quickly relaxed his face so that Dean wouldn't notice what had happened.

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Alastor, the Guilt Demon watched as the Winchester's drove by. He was going to have so much fun tormenting the youngest Winchester using the form of Jessica Moore. That boy had so much guilt within him that Alastor felt over empowered just by being near him. He could torture the boy for months and still have plenty of ammunition to use against him.

He would haunt the boy until he had a total breakdown at which point he would enjoy killing Sam Winchester, the prodigy child that Azazel hoped would one day be the boy king.

**TBC **

_**What do you think, is this story worth continuing?**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Tortured; Mind. Body and Soul Ch. 2**

**Disclaimer: They're not mine and I am not making a profit.**

Dean pulled up to the old Fairview Mansion and whistled at the opulence of the place. Even in a state of disrepair from being abandoned for a few years now the mansion still reeked of money. The mansion had a wrap around porch with white marble columns that supported the roof. The front door was very ornate and had obviously been hand carved with meticulous care if the intricate carvings were any indication of the love it was made with. Dean could only imagine what the mansion must have looked like inside.

Dean looked over at Sammy and said "After we finish salting and burning the old pervert, what do you say we go inside and check out the old homestead huh"

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean and shook his head. Dean was always like a kid let lose in a candy store when it came to hunting. He was full of energy that couldn't be corralled.

"No way Dean, I say we do this job and get the hell out of here." Sammy said as he walked back to the trunk to unload the gear they would need to do the salt and burn.

"You're always such a party pooper Sammy. You've got to learn to live a little man, have some fun" said Dean as he pulled a couple of shovels out of the trunk.

"Okay Princess Party Pooper, which way to the gravesite?" Dean asked as he looked at Sammy with questioning eyes.

Sam looked at a paper he pulled out of his pocket before answering Dean. "According to the research, the graveyard is located about a hundred yards behind the mansion. Just look for a wrought iron fence and that's where we'll find the grave."

The boys started walking towards the area that Sam had designated as being the burial place. Dean took out his EMF meter to scan for any signs of supernatural activity but found none. After a few minutes of searching, they finally spotted the fenced in area hidden behind some overgrown weeds on the property.

Dean cleared away some of the weeds until he happened upon the locked gate. Dean used his shovel to break the rusted lock away without too much resistance. He removed the lock from the chains and opened the gate.

Sam and Dean walked into the grave yard and looked at the headstones and finally found the one that belonged to James Fairview. Dean and Sam put their equipment down and began to dig. After a couple hours of digging, Dean pushed the shovel down to hear a loud thump when his shovel hit the casket.

All at once, the winds begin to swirl as James Faircloth made his appearance right in front of Sammy's face causing him to gasp. He raised his arm in anger and howled as Sammy was bodily lifted and thrown fifteen feet into a tree before he could raise his gun. Sam immediately lost consciousness when his head collided harshly with the tree.

Dean was about to open the casket when he heard his brother gasp and looked up to see the spirit of James Faircloth toss his baby brother into a tree with a loud ferocious howl. Dean pulled his gun from the back of his jeans where he had it tucked and fired a bullet loaded with rock salt to dispel the spirit.

He quickly poured some gas on the body and salted it vigorously and then threw a lighted match into the grave. He didn't even stop to watch the body burn as he ran over to check on his little brother.

Dean quickly kneeled down beside his unconscious baby brother and assessed his injuries. As he ran his hands over Sammy's head, he could feel the large bump at the back of his head and his hand came away sticky. It made him sick to his stomach when he saw Sam's blood on the palm of his hand. He wiped his hand off on his jeans, they were old anyway, and then used his fingers to pry open Sam's eyelids. _"Yeah, definite concussion there" _he thought when he saw the different sizes of Sam's pupils. He checked Sam for any signs of bleeding from his ears, nose, and mouth that would indicate a need for proper medical treatment, but found none.

"Sammy, can you hear me?" Dean said as he gently prodded his brother's shoulder to wake up.

Sam awoke to the sounds of Dean's voice calling him.

"Dean?" he called out not quite sure.

"Yeah buddy, it's me" said Dean as he put his hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed it in support. "You ready to try and stand up?"

Dean gripped Sam's arms to help him stand, but the change in altitude was too much for Sammy as his knees buckled and he nearly dropped to the ground.

"Sick" he said as Dean lowered him the rest of the way and supported Sam as he got on his hands and knees and threw up everything he had in his stomach. Dean rubbed his baby brother's back trying to give him soothing comfort until Sam had finally quit heaving.

"Okay, let's try this again" said Dean as he gently eased Sam to his feet. As they started walking, Sam swayed on his feet due to the double vision he had as a result of the concussion.

"Easy there bro, I gotcha" Dean said as he wrapped an arm around Sammy's waist to support him as he walked Sammy back to the car. He eased Sam down into the passenger seat and then went back to the grave sight to get their gear.

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Dean watched Sammy closely on the way back to their motel. Sam had fallen asleep with his head against the window. Dean knew he was in for a long night as Sam would have to be woken every two hours to make sure he didn't fall into a coma.

Upon arriving back to the motel, Dean woke Sam up and helped him into the room laying him gently down on the bed away from the door. Sam immediately tried to roll over, but Dean stopped him.

"You can't go to sleep yet Sammy, I got to clean that goose egg on the back of your head" he said as he went to get their first aid kit from the car.

Sam winced as Dean prodded along his scalp and cleaned the cut as best he could.

"You were lucky Sammy, I don't think you'll need any stitches."

"Yeah, well I don't feel very lucky" said Sam. "My head hurts like a freaking bitch."

Dean got the last of the Tylenol and said "Here, take these. They might help with the pain."

Sam took the offered meds and swallowed them down with a glass of water that Dean handed to him. He then curled up on the bed and fell asleep.

As he watched Sam sleep, Dean thought about the events of the day. _Did Sam get hurt because he was preoccupied and not paying attention to the job? _He remembered that Sammy had been startled by something on the way to the hunt. He should have questioned him about what happened. He would just have to keep a closer eye on Sammy from now on until he could figure things out.

After approximately two hours had passed, Dean woke Sammy up. "Sammy, how old are you" he asked.

"Dude, if you don't know that then something's wrong with you" replied Sam in a groggy voice.

"Just answer the question Sam" Dean said in a gentle voice aware that Sam's head was probably still hurting.

"My name is Sam Winchester, I am twenty two years old and I have the most awesome big brother in the world. Now leave me alone Dean so I can sleep!"

Dean had to laugh at Sammy's retort to the question he had asked. Sam must have been feeling just a little bit better.

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Sam was awakened by a thunder boomer of a headache the next morning. He moaned as his skull felt like it would split apart as though it was an over ripe watermelon.

At hearing his brother's distress, Dean became instantly awake.

"You alright Sammy?" He said as he glanced over at his little brother's bed.

"If you call feeling like you were run over by a train okay, then yeah, I'm alright." Sam said as he winced from a sudden spike of pain and put his hands to his head to gently massage his temples.

Dean got up to get Sam some more Tylenol for his headache but found the bottle empty.

"Sam, the bottle's empty" he said "I'm going to make a quick run to the store. Why don't you try to get some more sleep and I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Sounds good, thanks Dean" Sam said as he lay back down and closed his eyes.

Dean quickly dressed and eased the door open trying not to disturb Sammy too much as he left to get the pills that Sam needed to take away his pain.

It seemed like Dean wasn't gone longer than five minutes, when Sam heard sounds in the room. He opened his eyes expecting to see Dean, but found Jessica standing before him instead.

"J-Jess, what are you doing here?" Sam said as he stared at the woman who would have eventually become his wife."

Sam wasn't sure if it was Jess or if it was his mind playing tricks on him since he was still suffering the effects of the concussion.

"Don't you want me here baby?" said Jess with unbridled anger in her voice. "You're the reason that I am dead Sam. Why did you kill me?"

Tears started to fall down Sam's face. "I'm so sorry Jess, I should have told you about the visions. I didn't mean for you to die. You've got to believe me."

"You're not sorry" screamed the guilt demon using Jess' voice. "You're glad that I'm dead. You wanted me to die. Admit it Sam, you're glad that I'm gone."

The tears were freely flowing now as Sam sobbed openly. "It's not true Jess. I loved you, I still do. Please forgive me."

"Never" said Jess as she reached out to grasp Sam by the wrist. "Now you must pay for what you've done." She used one of her claws to slash Sam's wrist open and then did the same thing on the other wrist. Sam's wrists began to bleed profusely as the sounds of the Impala approaching could be heard outside.

The figure of Jess disappeared once again as Dean opened the door.

"I got your meds Sammy" Dean said as he tossed the bottle Sam's way.

"Dean?" said Sam in a shaky voice as he looked at him with a tear stained face.

Dean gasped as he looked over at his baby brother and saw his wrists. "Damn it Sam, what have you done to yourself?"

**TBC.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Tortured; Mind. Body and Soul Ch. 3**

_**Previously**_: Dean gasped as he looked over at his baby brother and saw his wrists. "Damn it Sam, what have you done to yourself?"

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Dean rushed into the room, dropping the Tylenol he had bought for Sammy, when he saw that Sam was bleeding profusely from the wrists. He grabbed both his wrists and immediately and applied pressure to them to try and stop the bleeding.

"Jeez Sammy, what did you do?" Dean said with a shocked voice. He couldn't believe that he had allowed Sammy to do this to himself. He shouldn't have left Sam alone.

"I-I-I didn't do it Dean" Sam said in a trembling voice as tears began to fall down his face. "Why would you even th-think I could-d?"

"Sammy, I know that you've been depressed lately, but I thought you were getting over what happened to Jess." Dean truly thought that Sammy was finally starting to heal and moving on with his life only to find Sam in such a horrible state today.

"Why won't you b-believe me Dean? I sw-swear it's not m-me" Sam said as he tried to pull away from Dean.

"Stop it Sam, I have to get the bleeding stopped and then I have to clean your wrists and get them bandaged."

Sam refused to look at Dean but acquiesced to his wishes and stopped trying to pull away. Dean didn't believe him. The one person he always thought he could count one, the one who always protected him was now the one who was hurting him. How could Dean not believe him? Sure he had hid things from his brother, but he never lied to him. It hurt so bad to know that Dean no longer believed in him that Sam withdrew inside himself where Dean couldn't hurt him anymore as Dean took care of cleaning his wrists.

After Dean finally got the bleeding to slow down to a trickle from putting pressure on Sam's wrist, he went to the bathroom to get their first aid kit. Some of the cuts could be held together with a butterfly bandage, but a couple of the cuts were deep enough that he would have to put some stitches in them.

Before applying peroxide to the cuts, Dean said "This might burn a little Sammy" as he looked at his brother. Sam didn't even acknowledge that he had heard anything that Dean said to him.

"Sammy?" Dean gently shook his brother's shoulder to get him to focus and snap out of whatever had him in a trance. Sam however, continued to stare at a spot on the far wall as though Dean had never spoken a word to him.

"Damn it" gritted Dean through clenched teeth as he poured the peroxide over Sam's wrists and remembered another time that Sam had retreated inside of himself. _Sammy was about seven years old. Their dad have left to go on a hunt on Christmas Eve after promising that they would spend Christmas Day together. Sam had felt so abandoned that he withdrew inside himself to the point that Dean had become scared enough after three days to call Pastor Jim to ask for help. Pastor Jim had came and got them and immediately took them back to Blue Earth, Minnesota with him. _

"Sammy?" Dean rubbed his hand along his jaw when he saw no reaction from Sam.

"_Now what the hell am I supposed to do?" _he thought to himself as he began to stitch up his little brother's wrists. He was concerned to see that Sam didn't even flinch as he ran the needle through his skin and sewed in stitches small enough to hopefully not leave a scar.

After he finished the stitches and wrapped Sam's wrists, Dean helped Sammy to lay down on the bed and then covered him up with a blanket. He was going to need help with this one and he knew just who to call.

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Dean stood over Sammy for just a minute watching him. Sam had curled up on his side with his face pointed to the wall like he was cutting himself off from everybody. Dean reached over and ran his hand through Sam's hair and said, "I'll be right back Sammy, I'm just gonna go call dad."

Dean walked outside of their motel room but left the door open so that he would be able to keep an eye on Sammy. He pushed speed dial number one on his phone and waited for his father to pick up praying that it wouldn't go through to voicemail.

After a few rings he heard, _You've reached John Winchester, if this is an emergency……_Dean waited for the spiel to end before leaving a voice mail message for his dad.

Dean hung up the phone with tears falling down his face. He prayed that their dad would call back quickly as he walked back into the motel room to check on Sam.

John Winchester was driving down the interstate headed towards a new hunt when he heard his phone ringing. He decided to let it ring over to voice mail before he would check to see who it was. He didn't feel like talking to anybody right now. After the phone quit ringing, he waited a few minutes for the person to leave a message. He then picked up his phone and punched in

the code to listen to it. He nearly ran off the road when he heard Dean's trembling voice come through the phone.

"_Dad, this is Dean. I need your help. Something's wrong with Sammy and I don't know what to do. Dad, you've got to come. I think Sammy just tried to kill himself. Please Dad, we need you."_

John stopped his truck on the side of the road and played the message again. Surely his mind was playing tricks on him, there was no way he just heard what he thought he heard. After listening to the message a second time, John picked up his phone to call Dean. He had to find out where his boys were staying and get there as quick as he could.

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Dean had pulled a chair up beside Sam's bed and was trying to talk to him when he heard his phone ringing. When he glanced at the caller ID, he was extremely relieved to see his father's name as he quickly flipped the phone open. Before Dean even had a chance to say hello he heard his father's voice.

"_Dean, what the hell is going on? What do you mean you think Sammy tried to kill himself?" _Dean could hear the anger as well as terror in his dad's voice.

"Dad, I think Sam slit his wrists today. I left to get him some Tylenol because he wasn't feeling well. I wasn't even gone five minutes, and when I got back he was sitting on the bed with both his wrists bleeding pretty bad."

"_How is he now Dean, did you clean the wounds and stitch them?"_

"Yes Sir, I've got the wounds taken care of, but Sammy's not doing to good right now" Dean said as he continued to watch Sam.

"_What do you mean by that Dean, do you need to get your brother to a hospital?"_

"No sir. Do you remember that time when you had to leave for a hunt on Christmas Eve and Sammy retreated inside himself, well he's done it again. I've been trying to get him to snap out of it, but it's like he's completely shut me out. He won't even look at me. I'm scared dad!"

"_Tell me where you are Dean and I'll be there as soon as I can."_

Dean sent their coordinates to his dad after hanging up the phone.

Focusing his attention back on Sam, Dean said "Come on Sammy, you can't keep ignoring me. I know you're in there and you'll have to talk to me sooner or later."

Sam could hear his brother talking to him but he just didn't care. What was the use. Dean didn't believe him about Jess. He was better off just keeping to himself, at least that way he couldn't be hurt again. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep, maybe Dean would leave him alone he thought.

Dean watched as Sammy finally closed his eyes and went to sleep. Hopefully he would feel better once he woke up again and would come out of that place he had locked himself into.

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Dean had fallen into a light sleep by the time his father had arrived at the motel. He was awakened by the sounds of his dad's truck pulling into the parking lot. He got up out of his bed and walked over to the door and opened it to greet his dad.

"Hey dad, I'm so glad you're here." he said as he moved aside to allow his father to enter the room.

John placed his hand on Dean's shoulder and squeezed it before walking by him and over to Sammy's bed. He was dismayed to see that Sam was curled up into a fetal position facing the wall. His baby was really hurting!

John sat down on Sam's bed and ran his fingers through Sam's hair feeling the need to be close to his youngest. He then turned to face Dean and said "Tell me exactly what happened."

Dean relayed the events of the past few days to their dad starting with Sam getting the cut on his cheek and ending with the slashed wrists. "Dad, he's blaming Jess for them, I think he's so lost in his grief over her that he's hurting himself and actually thinks that Jess is doing it to him."

John knew that Dean believed what he was saying to be true, but he wasn't so sure himself. "Dean, was Sammy alone each time he was hurt? Did he seem out of sorts and not like himself over the past few days?"

Dean thought for a moment before answering. "Yeah, he was alone each time he got hurt and he seemed startled a couple of times but wouldn't talk about it."

"DAMN" swore John rather forcefully. "I think I know what's happening and you're not going to like it Dean. Sammy's being attacked by a guilt demon, a son of a bitch named Alastor!

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

**Tortured; Mind. Body and Soul Ch. 4**

_**Previously: **__"DAMN" swore John rather forcefully. "I think I know what's happening and you're not going to like it Dean. Sammy's being attacked by a guilt demon, a son of a bitch named Alastor!_

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Dean was stunned by his father's words. "What did you just say?" he asked his dad, positive that he couldn't have heard him say what he thought he did.

"You heard me right Dean, Sam's being attacked by a guilt demon" John said as he continued to run his fingers through Sammy's hair trying to comfort his baby.

Dean felt the guilt multiply ten fold on his shoulders. How could he have thought Sammy would ever hurt himself? Why did he naturally assume that Sammy had attempted suicide instead of listening to what Sammy had to say?

John saw an immense look of guilt cross Dean's face as he watched him work through his thoughts. He wondered just what had happened to put that look there. "Dean, what's wrong? You're looking kind of upset now."

"Shit dad" Dean swore. "I'm to blame for the way Sammy's feeling right now, I'm the reason he retreated into himself!"

"What do you mean, you're the reason?" Asked John needing to know why his oldest child was blaming himself.

"When I walked in the room earlier and saw Sammy's wrist, I asked him what he had done to himself. I accused him of being depressed. I didn't listen when he said he didn't do it" stated Dean with obvious despair in his voice.

"Damn it Dean" said John, "You're supposed to take care of your baby brother, not hurt him. What the hell were you thinking boy?"

"Don't you think I know that" shouted Dean as the guilt continued to multiply from his father's angry words. "I would never knowingly hurt Sammy, I'd give my life to save the kid."

"I'm sorry Dean, I know that. I'm just worried about Sammy, I didn't mean to blame you." John honestly felt bad for what he had said and wanted to make sure Dean knew it.

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Sam never showed any signs of awareness throughout the whole conversation between John and Dean and his family was beginning to worry about him.

"Hey Sammy, I need you to listen to me kiddo" said John as he rubbed his hand up and down Sam's arm. "Sammy, you've got to listen to me. I know what you're going through and how bad you're hurting right now, but you've got to allow us to help you."

Sam was drowning in despair. He felt so lost and all alone and knew he couldn't face things alone. Sure, he was on his own when he went to Stanford, but he knew that one phone call to Dean would bring him running and things would be okay. Now he didn't even have that because Dean thought he was suicidal and tried to kill himself. How was he supposed to get through Jess torturing him, if no one cared.

Just as he was about to give over totally to the despair, he heard a familiar voice making its way through the wall of protection he had tried to erect around himself. He recognized that voice, it was his dad. _"When did dad get here?" _he thought as he listened to the words his dad was saying. His dad wanted to help, maybe he wasn't alone.

"Come on Sammy, I need you to turn over and look at me son. Please Sammy, let me in so that I can help you" John pleaded in a strangled voice.

Sam could hear the pleading tone in his dad's voice and it drove him to climb that barrier he had put up around himself. He needed his dad and he had to let him know that. Sam felt tears coming to his eyes as he became more aware and began to sob silently, he wasn't alone anymore.

John sensed that Sammy was starting to come around as he felt the tension ease out of the arm that he was rubbing. He then felt it as his baby began to shake and knew that Sammy was crying. He gently used his hands to tug Sam over towards him and pulled his baby into his arms.

"It's okay Sammy, you're not alone. I'm here and so is Dean. We're going to help you fight this." John hugged Sammy to him knowing that his youngest child needed the close proximity and the comfort from him and he gave it unabashedly.

Dean watched as his dad was talking to Sammy and prayed that he would get through to the kid. He really needed to apologize to Sam and try to make things right. As he watched, he saw his brother's body began to shake and watched as his dad pulled a sobbing Sam into his arms.

Sam felt safe enveloped in his father's arms. He struggled to pull himself together, to let his dad know that he was alright. As his tears eased off, he felt his father release the tight hug he had him in so he could look into his eyes.

"You okay son?" his dad asked as Sam wiped his face with his sleeve.

"I will be now that you're here" he said with a trembling smile on his face as he heard Dean call his name. Sam turned around to look at Dean and saw a crest fallen look on his brother's face.

Dean felt an enormous need to apologize and called out his brother's name to get his attention.

"Sammy?"

When Sam turned around to look at him, Dean was bowled over by the look of hurt in his brother's eyes. Sam had looked at him with so much hurt in his eyes that Dean thought he could actually drown in the hurt. Dean rushed over and threw his arms around Sammy and hugged him more fiercely than he ever had in his life. _**"Damn the no chick flick moments rule" **_he thought, _**"I need this worse than Sammy does right now!"**_

Sam was completely surprised when Dean threw his arms around him in a bear hug, but he was still hurt from what Dean has said and he tried to push his brother away.

Dean felt Sammy trying to push him away and tightened his hold on Sammy even more.

"Oh God Sammy, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I can be such an ass sometimes, PLEASE forgive me bro."

Dean repeated the statement over and over until he felt Sam finally melt into the hug and knew that he had been forgiven. He felt Sam's arms tighten around him and his shirt grow wet as Sam started crying once again.

After a few moments, Sam pulled away from Dean and wiped his hands across his face once again. "I feel like such a big baby" he said as he felt his cheeks flush from embarrassment.

"No, don't you do that Sammy. You have no reason to be embarrassed" said his father as he looked his son firmly in the eye. "You've been through hell, and believe me, I know what I'm talking about."

Sam was awestruck by his dad's words. He could hear the conviction in the statement and said "What do you mean dad?"

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John looked at both of his boys and said " Sit down and let me tell you a little story."

"Do you remember the time I left you boys with Pastor Jim and went on a hunt with Joshua? You would have been seven Dean and Sammy would have just turned three."

Dean nodded and said, "Yeah, you were gone for two weeks on that one. The hunt was only supposed to take three days and when you came home, you were beat to hell."

"I don't remember that" added Sammy, "Guess I was too little then."

"You probably were" said John. "Anyway, the hunt was an easy salt and burn, but it was what happened after the hunt that literally put me through hell."

"What happened dad?" asked both boys at the same time needing to know what their father had went through.

"We were on the way back from the hunt when we stopped at a motel for the night. Joshua had went out to get something to eat while I was taking a shower. When I got out of the shower, I saw your mother standing there. God, it was so good to see her, but then I knew that it couldn't be her at the same time. I asked your mother what she was doing there and was unprepared for what she said next."

Dean an Sam were both amazed at what their father had said. Needing to know more, Sam asked "What did mom say to you dad?"

John got a despondent look in his eyes as he replied to Sam's question. "She asked me why, why did I let her die? She blamed me for not being able to save her. She said it was my fault she was dead and then she attacked me."

Sam's face immediately lost all color when he heard what John had said. He started to tremble and John immediately put his hand to the back of Sam's neck and drew his forehead to his chest as he ran his fingers through Sam's hair once again.

"I know Sammy, the same thing has been happening to you. It's a bastard named Alastor. He's a guilt demon son and he preys on people who feel guilty because of another's death."

"God Dad" Sammy muffled through his father's shirt. "I was beginning to wonder if I was going crazy myself. How did you fight the demon? How did you keep it from killing you?"

"Joshua" he said with one simple word. "If it hadn't been for Joshua figuring things out, I wouldn't be here with you and Dean today. I couldn't fight the guilt demon when it was using Mary's form. I loved your mother so much and couldn't see past that to know a demon had taken her form. She had nearly killed me when Joshua came in unexpectedly in the middle of an attack one night. He threw holy water repeatedly keeping her weakened until started an exorcism and sent the demon back to hell. He literally saved my life.

John then looked towards Sammy with glistening eyes and said, "This demon always attacks when you're most vulnerable, when you're alone." But then his eyes became enraged as he said ,"We sent that bastard to hell once before and we're going to do it again. I swear to you Sam, I won't let that thing hurt you anymore than it already has."

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Tortured; Mind. Body and Soul Ch. 5**

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own them and I'm still not making a profit.

_**Previously: **__John looked towards Sammy with glistening eyes and said, "This demon always attacks when you're most vulnerable, when you're alone." But then his eyes became enraged as he said ,"We sent that bastard to hell once before and we're going to do it again. I swear to you Sam, I won't let that thing hurt you anymore than it already has."_

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Sam was immensely relieved after hearing his father's words. Now that they knew what was going on, they would find a way to deal with the demon and it's rein of terror over him would be ended. He couldn't believe that only a few hours ago he had felt like he was at his breaking point, but now felt invigorated at the thought of finally being able to fight back.

"What are we going to do dad?" Sam inquired as he looked at his father with spirited eyes.

"The first thing were going to do is make sure you boys get a full night of sleep" John stated seeing how tired his boys were. "Tomorrow, were going to set a trap for that damn demon and send it back to hell where it belongs."

"That sounds freaking wonderful to me" chortled Dean feeling the need to take revenge on the bastard that had almost destroyed the brotherly bond between him and Sam. He knew he still had a ways to go before Sam would fully forgive him, but he was ready to go that extra mile to make things perfect between him and his brother once again.

Sam seemed a little worried about going to bed. He knew there was a good chance that demon Jess would visit him in his dreams while everybody was asleep and he didn't want to face her again just yet.

Sensing his son's nervousness, John said "It's alright Sammy, I'll be right here watching over you. Go to sleep, nothing is getting near you tonight."

Sam smiled appreciatively at his father. He really was extremely tired and desperately needed some sleep.

As Sam got ready to take a shower, John went out to his truck and got his gear. He carried it into the boys motel room and deposited it beside the chair where he would be standing watch tonight. As Sam took a shower, John hung a dream catcher above his bed and drew some protective sigils on the headboard.

Sam finished his shower and walked out of the bathroom wearing a green tee shirt and boxers. He smiled as he got into his bed noticing the dream catcher hanging above the headboard. He felt more relaxed than he had in weeks and felt like he could fall asleep feeling safe and secure under his father's watch.

As soon as Sam's head hit the pillow he was instantly asleep. He began to lightly snore as his dad poured a circle of salt around his bed as added protection for his safety.

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John sat reading through his journal as he glanced up every so often at his slumbering sons. Dean was lying on his stomach with his right hand under his pillow, no doubt clutching the knife he kept there for safety. Sam had rolled over onto his side in sleep and was facing towards Dean. John had to smirk as he thought how even in sleep, Sam seemed to seek out Dean's protection.

He cursed the demon for having put a strain on the bond brotherly bond between his boys and was comforted to know that Dean had made strides towards repairing that bond earlier tonight.

John lowered his head and began reading his journal once again. Within moments, he heard a slight whimper coming from his youngest son. He started to lay his journal on the table to make his way over to Sam.

Before he could even rise from the chair he was sitting in, he saw Dean throw back his covers and sit up. Dean quickly made his way over to Sam's bed and ran his fingers through Sam's unruly brown hair to comfort him.

"Shh Sammy, go back to sleep" Dean whispered trying to ease his brother back into a restful sleep. "I'm right here and nothing's going to happen to you little brother." Dean continued to murmur words of comfort to Sammy until he once again relaxed into a tranquil sleep that was evident by the sounds of Sam's deep, even breaths.

Dean looked over at his dad with drowsy eyes. "Hey dad, you want me to keep watch while you get a few hours sleep?" he offered

"Nah, I'm fine son. You go back to sleep. I'll wake you in the morning to go get us some breakfast." replied John knowing that Dean probably needed the sleep more than he did.

At around five in the morning, John was lightly dozing in his chair when he heard the sounds of rustling coming from one of his boys beds. He opened his bleary eyes to see Sam beginning to toss and turn. He shifted his eyes over to Dean's bed and noticed that he was not yet drawn out of his slumber by the sounds of Sam's movements.

John got up from his chair and crossed the room. He kicked off his shoes and climbed in the bed with his adult son pulling him close. Sure, it felt a little awkward at first, but then he thought about all the times he had comforted Sammy as a child and relished the feeling of being able to do it once again as he felt Sam relaxing against him into slumber once again.

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Dean awoke the next morning as the sun began to shine through the drawn window blinds. He was startled at first when he noticed the empty chair across the room. But he immediately calmed when he looked over to find that his father had fallen asleep in Sam's bed with Sam cradled up close to him. _"Way to go dad" _he thought secure in the knowledge that John was there for Sammy.

Dean silently slipped out of his bed and dressed in a pair of blue jeans and his favorite AC/DC shirt, ready to stand his watch until the rest of his family woke up.

Sam was on the verge of waking up. He felt more rested than he had in years and attributed it to the security he felt wrapped in loving arms. _"Wait a minute, loving arms? __Why am I being held?" _he thought as he started rousing from sleep with a slight stretch and a yawn, only to find himself drawn in even closer to the one holding him.

John was still asleep when he felt his youngest beginning to move against him. Not yet ready to wake, John pulled his youngest in closer to hopefully still his movements unsuccessfully.

Sam opened his eyes surprised to see that it was his dad who he was being cradled against. _"Damn, did I have a rough night and don't remember it?" _he wondered as he wiggled around some more to let his father know that he was awake.

John opened his eyes to see his youngest looking at him with twinkling eyes and a bright smile.

"What's the matter dad, did you have a bad dream?" Sammy asked with a slight smirk now crossing his face.

"Very funny son" John replied as he stretched and got out of bed. "That damn chair was so uncomfortable that I had to get out of it for a while. Dean had flopped all over his bed so that only left me one choice, to climb in the bed with you."

Sam and Dean both smiled as they listened to the lie rolling off their father's tongue.

Shaking his head in wonder, John said "Okay boys, time to get this show on the road and set a trap" John was ready to exorcise the demon that went after his baby boy with a vengeance.

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The Winchester men all went out to the local Shoney's restaurant for breakfast. As they ate,John and his sons discussed their plan for trapping the demon.

"Okay, we know the demon will only attack if Sam is left alone" said John as he looked at his youngest. "Sam, I know this is going to be hard for you, but Dean and I won't be far way. We'll drop you off at the motel with the pretense of going to the library to research while you clean the weapons. Dean and I will leave and park the Impala where it won't be seen. We'll double back and keep out of sight until we're needed.

"I'll be fine dad, as long as I know you and Dean are out there to back me up."

Dean felt elated hearing Sam's words, it meant that Sam had forgiven him for not supporting him when the demon first attacked. Of course, Dean knew that he still had some making up to do, but at least they had made a start.

John was nervous about leaving Sammy alone, but he knew it was the only way the demon would show itself so they could trap it and send it back to hell where it belonged.

Upon arriving back at the motel, the Winchesters entered the room and began their preparations. John drew a devils trap and placed a used towel over it to hide his work as Dean took care of "bugging" the room so they would be able to hear what was going on inside.

After making sure that everything was in place, John and Dean exited the motel room and drove off in the Impala, both on edge about leaving Sam behind.

Back inside the room, Sam was sitting at the table supposedly cleaning the weapons there. He was trying to keep his mind occupied, but wasn't having much success. He didn't admit it to Dean or his dad, but he was terrified about seeing the Jess demon again. He prayed that things would be over quickly so he could move on with his life again.

A few moments later, the temperature in the room began to drop as Jess materialized into view. "Hello Sam, did you miss me baby?" the demon asked as Sam stood up from the table.

**TBC **_I hope you enjoyed this calm before the storm as the battle begins in the next chapter!_


	6. Chapter 6

**Tortured; Mind, Body and Soul Ch. 6**

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own them and I am not making a profit from this story.

**Author's Note: **I have no knowledge whatsoever of Latin so please forgive me if the exorcism John uses to dispel the demon isn't right.

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_**Previously: **__The temperature in the room began to drop as Jess materialized into view. "Hello Sam, did you miss me baby?" the demon asked as Sam stood up from the table._

"You're not Jess" Sam said as he grabbed a flask that sat on the table beside his laptop ready to defend himself.

The demon laughed a bone chilling laugh as it said, "Aren't you happy to see me lover? I mean it has been a long time since we've been together. Wouldn't you like that Sam?"

Sam cringed as he listened to the demons words. He missed Jess so bad and he could feel his heart shredding at the way the demon was mocking the love that he and Jess had shared.

"I'll kill you, you son of a bitch" he yelled as he lunged at the demon with the holy water only to be thrown against the wall with his head bouncing painfully off of it. Sam fell to his knees dazed as he looked up at the demon.

"You Winchesters all think you're so smart and tough" laughed the demon as it kicked the towel from the devil's trap painted on the floor and once again flung its hand sending Sam tumbling into the dresser. "But we know better don't we Sammy boy?" The demon taunted enjoying terrorizing the youngest Winchester.

"I think it's about time to have a little fun, don't you honey" the demon said as it walked tantalizingly towards Sam with a sway to its hips and a lilt in its walk. The demon held Sam firmly within its hold as it bent down and kissed the youngest Winchester on his lips.

Sam tried to turn away from the demon as it moved in to kiss him but found himself unable to move. He was becoming nauseated at the feeling of the demon's lips pressed against his own. It wasn't Jess, she would never push herself on him unwanted the way that the demon was doing.

"Please don't do this" said Sam breaking away from the kiss finally. Tears began to stream down his face at what the demon was doing to the sacred loved that he and Jess had held so dearly.

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As John and Dean were making their way back towards the motel, Dean was listening in to what was going on in the motel room. He could hear Sammy cleaning the guns and the shaky breaths that he could hear Sam taking at times. He knew his brother was nervous and couldn't blame him. He started walking a little more quickly needing to get back to the motel room. He was getting a bad feeling in his gut and didn't like it.

John lengthened his strides to keep up with Dean. "What's happening son? What do you hear?" he asked needing to know what Dean was hearing.

"Nothing really dad, I just got a bad feeling that we need to get back to the motel as quickly as possible. I can tell that Sam's getting nervous about being…." Dean trailed off as he heard a sickening sweet voice say _"Hello Sam, did you miss me baby?" _

"Son of a bitch, the demon's already there" he yelled out to his father as he took off running towards the motel. Sam needed him and he needed him now. John quickly joined his son as they ran at full speed knowing that Sam was in extreme danger and that he was by himself.

Dean was proud of Sam as he heard him say _"You're not Jess" _to the demon. Sam was fighting back. As he heard the demon's next taunting words, he couldn't imagine what Sammy must be going through. _"Damn, the kid's gonna have nightmares for weeks after this" _he thought as he ran faster.

Dean could soon hear the sounds of a struggle and then the sound of a thump followed closely by a startled yelp. "Dad we've got to hurry, I think Sammy just got thrown against a wall" he panted out through rasping breaths.

Dean felt like kicking himself for not staying behind and letting Sammy be put into such a precarious position. Because he had left, Sam was being hurt who knows how badly.

John felt a sudden chill in his bones when he heard the panic in Dean's voice. _"Damn it, why do things always go after Sammy?" _he thought as he struggled to keep up with Dean. He wasn't as young as he used to be and it was hard keeping up with his twenty six year old son.

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Back inside the motel room, the demon straddled itself across Sam's lap and it giggled at the youngest Winchester begging. "Don't cry baby, Jess is here" it snickered as it reached out with its tongue and licked the tears from Sam's face. It really was enjoying the torture that it was inflicting on the boy.

Sam's stomach revolted and he gagged at the feeling of the slimy, cold tongue that was lapping up the tears from his face. The demon jumped back as vomit began to spew from Sam's mouth and fall to the floor.

"Aw, did my poor little Sammy get sick" the demon said in glee as it witnessed Sam's reaction to what it was doing to him. The demon picked up the towel that had been used to cover the devil's trap and used it to clean Sam's mouth after he had finished throwing up.

The demon then once again straddled Sam's lap and tore open his shirt as it ran it's hands up and down his bare chest.

"P-Pleas-se d-don't do this" Sam begged as the demon started toying with his body even more, but the demon just smirked.

"It's been so long lover, I've been so lonely in hell without you" it cooed into Sam's ear as he turned his head away from what was happening.

Sam tried to focus and tap in on his telekinetic powers but was unable to do so. His thoughts then turned to Dean and his dad. _"Oh God, please help me" _he thought not knowing how much more he could take before his mind completely shattered.

He was pulled from his thoughts by a sharp stinging sensation on his right cheek as the demon slapped him across the face.

"Pay attention lover" the demon screamed upset at the fact that Sam had his attention focused elsewhere.

As the demon rubbed Sam's chest, it began to move it's hands lower until it unsnapped Sam's jeans and began rubbing his groin area. The demon was beginning to breathe heavily at the thought of what it was about to do to the youngest Winchester using the image of his beloved Jess. Oh the wonderful feeling it would obtain of degrading Sam in the most vile way forcing the boy to kill himself afterwards.

Sam was full on crying now as he was pinned on the floor unable to move within the demon's hold. Now he wished for death to take him before the demon used his body to pleasure itself. He didn't want to live through what was surely to come as he felt the demon lowering the zipper on his jeans.

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As they continued to run, Dean heard the sounds of Sammy gagging and wondered what kind of hell he was going through as he heard Sammy begging _"P-Pleas-se d-don't do this" _He shuddered when he heard the demon's retort of _"It's been so long lover, I've been so lonely in hell without you." _Dean visibly shuddered at the realization of what was about to happen to Sammy.

"Oh my God Dad, that thing is about to rape Sam" he yelled as he and John finally came within sight of the motel room.

Dean ran full force and launched himself at the door feet first, determined to break in the door to get to Sam. The door splintered, but did not open as he fell to the ground. As Dean stood back up, John threw his full weight into the door shattering the lock and the door swung wide open.

"Get the hell freaking hell away from my baby brother!" Dean shouted as he launched himself at the demon.

The demon became unhinged when it heard the sound of something striking the door with intense force. "Who the hell is trying to ruin my fun" it bellowed as it saw the door swing open from the force of a second blow.

The demon was unprepared for the sight of Dean Winchester running at it full force and tackling it off of Sam's lap and onto the floor. The demon pushed back with telekinetic force and pinned Dean to the wall forcing his body to slide up it.

"You will pay for interrupting my fun" it seethed as Dean rose higher. It was so focused on Dean that it didn't sense John approaching as he flung holy water onto it's body.

The demon writhed in agony as it lost its hold on Dean and he fell to the floor gasping for breath.

The demon focused it's attention on John and clenched it's fist causing John to reach both hands for his throat to break the unseen chokehold the demon had on him. John began to gasp for breath as his face began to turn a vivid red from lack of air.

Seeing that John was about to lose consciousness, Dean pulled a consecrated knife from his boot and flung it at the demon, The knife embedded in the demon's back causing it to once again contort in agony, The demon spewed a curse and Dean was bodily lifted and flung across the room, crashing onto the table as he heard the sound of ribs snapping.

"Dad, get the demon onto Sam's bed" he gasped out from the severe pain he was feeling.

John once again launched himself at the demon and wrestled it onto the bed as it finally pulled the consecrated knife from it's back. The demon smirked evilly as it attempted to get up, but found that it was unable to move.

"Gotcha, you son of a bitch" Dean called out. He had painted a devil's trap on the bedspring located under the mattress.

Seeing that the demon was trapped, John began to recite an exorcism. "Omnipotems Domine Verbum dei Patris Christe Jesu. Deus et Dominus universae creaturae…"

The demon howled in agony as it's body began to retort in painful ways. "You will not stop me from my quest" the demon yelled as John continue the exorcism.

""Fidelifter et securas aggredar per te Jesu Christe…" John continued the exorcism as the demon spat out the vicious ways that it was going to come back from hell and torture and maim his children.

"Your sons will die as I rip their hearts from their chests and crush them in my fingers. You will be left alone to wallow in the depair of knowing you could do nothing to help them" it screeched out in terrible pain.

John finished the exorcism by saying "Domine Deus poster qui venturus es judicare vivo et murtuos et saeculum pur ignem AMEN!" and watched as the demon exploded into a black puff of demonic smoke and dissipated into air.

John ran over to Sammy as he saw Dean pushing up to his feet. He knew his youngest was going through hell just by the look on his face. He was terrified to see Sammy so still and it was unnerving to see the vacant look in his eyes.

**TBC **


	7. Chapter 7

**Tortured; Mind, Body and Soul Ch. 7**

_**Previously: **__John ran over to Sammy as he saw Dean pushing up to his feet. He knew his youngest was going through hell just by the look on his face. He was terrified to see Sammy so still and it was unnerving to see the blank look that was in his eyes._

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John tried to rouse Sammy from the stupor that he was in. He knew his baby had been tortured to the point of insanity and was worried that Sam was about to fall over that precipice where they wouldn't be able to bring him back.

John was cradling Sam in his arms by the time that Dean made his way over to him. He looked at his father with concerned eyes and asked, "How's he doing dad?" He knew in his heart that the answer was going to be bad but had to know anyway.

"Not too good Dean, we've got to get him out of here quick. He's in shock and I'm worried about the fact that he is so listless. He's just staring off into space. He's not responding to me in any way."

John could see that Dean was in a lot of pain by the way he was cradling his right side with his arm . "Are they broken?" he asked as he motioned towards Dean's ribs with his head.

"Yeah, I heard a couple of them snap when I hit the table" Dean gasped. "But don't worry about me dad, we've got to get Sammy taken care of."

John wasn't surprised by Dean putting Sammy first. Ever since he had placed a six month old Sammy into Dean's arms the night of the fire, Dean has always put his brother's welfare first.

John smiled as he put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "Stay here with your brother while I go and get the car. "We're going to Bobby's, there's a doctor there who won't ask too many questions.

As John left the motel room, Dean began to talk to Sam hoping to get some kind of response from his brother, even if it was just a slight twitch.

"Hey Sammy, I'm here for you little brother and so is Dad. We're going to take you to Bobby's and get you some help. What do you think about that dude?"

Dean was disappointed to see that Sam didn't respond in anyway. He just continued to stare off into space at only something he could see. It broke his heart to know that Sam had been tortured to the extent that he no longer cared to function within the real word.

John arrived back at the room within moments to find Dean sitting with Sam's head resting in his lap. Dean had a tear trailing down his cheek as he was brushing his brothers bangs from his forehead.

John bent down to pick his six foot five son up to get him to the car. There was no way that Dean was going to be able to help him with those broken ribs. John grunted with exertion as he stood and carried Sam out of the room and out to the Impala. He gently slid him into the back seat as Dean climbed into the front passenger side. John grabbed a blanket from the trunk and swaddled Sam in it to keep him warm since he was suffering from the effect of shock.

As he pulled out of the motel parking lot, he called Bobby to alert him to what was happening and that Sam and Dean would need medical help as soon as they got there.

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Bobby was working on the engine of his truck when he heard the phone ringing. He set the wrench down and wiped his greasy hands on a rag before pulling his cell phone out of his right front pocket. He flipped the phone open without looking at the caller ID and growled, "Singer here, what can I do for ya?"

"_Bobby, it's John, I'm headed your way and I need your help" _

Bobby could hear the tension in John's voice and said "I'll be ready when you get here. Tell me what's wrong."

"_Dean's got some broken ribs and Sammy's catatonic. I need you to get Doc Henderson out to your place right away. Tell him that Sam's been tortured by a guilt demon and he's going to need some intensive help." _

"Holy Crap, I'll get right on it. Just get those boys here as fast as you can." stated Bobby. He hung up the phone and placed an immediate call to Henderson McCoy.

Henderson had been a doctor for about fifteen years before he was drawn into the world of hunting after his wife had been possessed by a demon. Through a mutual friend, Henderson had found out about Bobby and his skills with the supernatural world. Bobby had performed an exorcism and saved the docs wife from a living hell on earth. Since then, the doc helped Bobby out whenever his medical skills were needed for injured hunters.

After placing the phone call to Doc McCoy and being assured that he was on his way, Bobby rushed inside the house to prepare the room that the boys usually stayed in whenever the Winchester's visited.

Bobby stood on the porch nervously pacing back in forth in agitation. He wondered what in the hell could have happened to put the youngest Winchester into a state of catatonia. As he paced, he heard a vehicle approaching and looked up to see Henderson pulling into the salvage yard.

Bobby walked out to greet Henderson as he climbed out of the car,

"Thanks for coming doc" Bobby said as he reached out to shake the man's hand. "The Winchesters haven't arrived yet."

"Have you heard anymore from John about the state of his boys?" Henderson asked Bobby as he walked back to his trunk to get the medical gear out that he had brought with him.

"No, I haven't heard anymore from John other than Dean has some broken ribs and that Sam is in a catatonic state after having been tortured by a guilt demon" Bobby stated as helped the doc to carry in the medical supplies that he had brought with him.

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As John was driving down the highway towards Bobby's place, he kept glancing in the rearview mirror at his youngest child who had not moved a muscle since he had been placed into the car. It filled his heart with dread to see Sam so lifeless since the kid was always so full of energy and constantly asking questions. What he wouldn't give to have Sam questioning him right now.

John also glanced over towards Dean to see him with his head resting against the window and his eyes closed. He knew that Dean wasn't asleep just by the way he kept wincing whenever the car hit a bump on the road. He figured that Dean was being stoic in his need to get to Bobby's place as soon as possible so that Sam could get medical attention quickly. Knowing that Dean needed something for pain, John pulled over to the side of the road.

"What are you doing dad?" Dean asked wondering why his dad had stopped.

"You need something for the pain Dean whether you want it or not" John answered as he opened the door and walked back to the trunk for the med kit.

He opened the red kit and rummaged around until he found some pain pills and grasped the bottle from the kit. He handed the bottle to Dean as he climbed in the car and said, "Take two of those. They'll help you to manage the pain until we get to Bobby's.

Dean was about to protest until he saw the stern look that his father was giving him. Dean dry swallowed the pills as his dad pulled back onto the road.

Approximately two hours later, John was pulling into the driveway at Singer Salvage. He parked his car to see Bobby and Henderson walking towards him to offer assistance if needed.

"About damn time you got here" Bobby stated as John climbed out of the car.

He felt like he was sitting on pins and needles waiting for the Winchesters to arrive. He needed to see the boys and how they were doing.

"I got here as quick as I could Bobby" said John as he reached into the back of the impala to haul Sam out. As he tugged his youngest son into a sitting position, John said "Bobby, can you help Dean, he's high on pain pills right now."

Bobby quickly walked around to where Dean was struggling to get to his feet.

"Hey Bobby," Dean giggled as his stood and his legs gave out on him. Bobby reacted quickly and caught Dean before he could hit the ground.

"Hey there Dean-O, looks like you're having a little trouble walking" Bobby said.

"That's cause my legs turned to Jello" Dean snickered out as his eyes tried to focus on Bobby.

Bobby couldn't help but laugh at Dean in his drugged state. He slowly led Dean up the steps and onto the porch as John was carrying Sam in with Henderson following closely behind.

As they entered the house, John carried Sam up the stairs followed closely by Bobby supporting Dean.

"Hey Bobby, why do your steps keep bouncing up and down?" asked Dean as he struggled to place his feet on each step.

"I decided to put some springs into them" laughed Bobby. "I thought you might like to have a bounce to your step."

"Kay, that's kind of cool Bobby. You should have done it sooner" said Dean taking Bobby's words seriously. Bobby just shook his head as he and Dean continued on to the room that the boys would be staying in.

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As they entered the room, John eased Sam down on to the bed away from the door as Bobby helped Dean to lie down on his bed. As soon as Dean's head hit the pillow, he was out cold. The drugs had finally sent him into La La Land.

John began removing Sam's shoes and socks as Henderson moved in to assess Sam's vitals. He put his stethoscope to Sam's chest and listened to his heart and lungs and then quickly took his pulse. He used his penlight to check for pupil reaction in Sam's eyes. He also checked for muscle coordination and muscle rigidity.

After fully assessing Sam, Henderson faced John and said 'Sam is experiencing what we call a catatonic stupor. Basically, it means that Sam is oblivious or does not react to external stimuli, his motor activity is near zero and he is unable to exhibit any social behaviors which I'm sure you have noticed.

He then went on to say "I'm going to start Sam on some high doses of Benzodiazepines, this should bring him around eventually."

"How long do you think it will take before Sammy wakes up?" John asked.

"I can't really say John, he could wake up in an hour or it could take up to a couple of days" said Henderson as he placed a hand on John's shoulder. "Don't worry, your son is going to be fine."

Henderson then went over to check on Dean. Seeing that he was still under from the pain medication, Henderson had John help him to sit Dean up so he could wrap his ribs.

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John and the others were in Bobby's kitchen eating a dinner that Bobby had prepared. As they ate, Bobby had questioned John about the guilt demon and exactly what it had done to Sam. As John was telling him and Henderson about the horrible things that Sam had endured, they heard a terrified scream coming from the boys room.

**TBC**


	8. Chapter 8

**Tortured; Mind, Body and Soul Ch. 8**

Sam woke up to find himself dressed only in his boxers and the feeling of someone forcefully holding him down. He began to panic as he opened h1s eyes to find Jessica sitting on his abdomen with black eyes glaring down at him.

"Oh God no, not again" Sam thought as Jessica laughed maniacally and said "It's me again lover boy, time to have some fun."

"I c-can't take this a-anymore J-Jess, just please k-kill me and g-get it over with" moaned out Sam as Jess was once again running her hands up and down his bare chest.

"Got to have my fun first Baby" she said as she started kissing her way down his stomach. Jess kept going lower and lower until her fingers latched on to the waistband of Sam's boxers. "Get ready for some loving sugar" she said as she leered at Sam with an evil grin on her face and tugged at his boxers.

"N-NOOOOOOOO!" Sam screamed until his throat couldn't scream anymore. He began bucking and tossing trying to get Jess off of his body. He wasn't going down again without a fight.

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"SAMMY" John yelled as he heard the terrifying scream coming from his youngest child. He dropped his coffee cup down on the table, not caring as it tipped over and the hot liquid began to spill off of the table and onto the floor. He flung his chair backwards forcefully and took off bounding up the stairs as fast his legs would carry him with Bobby and Henderson following closely behind.

He threw open the door to the boys room ready to take on whatever it was that was hurting his child. His terrified eyes scanned the room quickly trying to locate where the danger was coming from.

His eyes stopped on Sammy's prone form as saw that he was tossing and bucking in his bed. Sammy's eyes were closed and he had tears flowing down his face in torrents. John knew without a doubt that Sam was held within the grips of a bloodcurdling nightmare.

He rushed over to Sam's bed and put his palms on Sam's face as he tried to rouse him and said, "It's okay Sammy, you're dreaming, you need to wake up son." But Sam continued to struggle to the point that John was afraid he was hurting himself.

Looking over towards Dean for help, John saw that he was still deeply asleep and was unaffected by what was going on around him due to the effects of the pain pills he had taken.

"Damn it" he swore. Dean would have easily pulled Sammy out of this nightmare, but now it was up to him to do it. Hating what he was about to do, John forcefully slapped Sam on the cheek.

Sam bolted straight up in bed when he felt the stinging sensation of something hitting his face. His glassy eyes were unfocused and he was breathing way too fast for John's comfort. He began to shake uncontrollably as he failed to gain control of his breathing not knowing where he was or what was happening.

Suddenly he felt arms wrapping tightly around him from behind and the soft sounds of his dad's voice saying, "Shh, I've got you Sammy, You're safe now. Come on kiddo, breathe with me, in and out in and out.

John rocked his youngest child back and forth as he continuously spoke soothing words into Sam's ear letting him know that he was safe. He felt the exact moment when Sam finally started to relax as Sam leaned into his father's chest and his shaking began to ease.

"D-Dad?" Sammy questioned praying that he was really there.

John hated hearing the quiver in his son's voice. He knew that Sam was still struggling with the world around him, not knowing what was real.

"Yeah Sammy, it's me. You're going to be okay son. You were out of it for a while and we brought you to Bobby's so that we could get you some help. Everything is going to be fine now"

John could feel the exhaustion rolling off of Sam in waves as his youngest struggled to stay awake from this latest bout with terror that had worn him out. Sam's head kept lolling on his shoulders only for him to snap it back up, afraid of going to sleep.

"Go to sleep Sam" said John pulling Sam in even closer. "I'm not going anywhere tonight. I'll be right here to wake you up if another nightmare takes hold."

"Th-Thanks dad" Sam said through a big yawn as he turned his head to rest it on his dad's chest. Sam fell asleep to the comforting sound of John's heart beating quietly in his ear and his father's arms wrapped securely around him.

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Bobby and Henderson watched from the door as events unfolded. Bobby had instantly assessed the fact that Sammy was in the grips of a nightmare as John had walked over towards his son. He put his gun back into the waistband of his jeans as he watched John trying to pull Sam out of the nightmare. He was startled as Sam bolted up in bed and then watched in amazement as John soothed his youngest by wrapping his arms around Sam and whispering soothing words into his ear.

As he watched Sam nodding off in John's arms, Bobby looked towards John to see tears glistening in his eyes. He knew the hunter wouldn't be going anywhere tonight. He sent a small smile John's way as he gently pulled the door shut leaving the three Winchesters by themselves for the night.

Bobby and Henderson walked down to the kitchen to clean it up as they talked in hushed voices so as not disturb those sleeping in the upstairs room above them.

Bobby walked Henderson to the door and thanked him for his helping taking care of the boys he had come to love as though they were his own. He watched as the doctor drove away before checking all of the salt lines and sigils to make sure the place was as safe as it could be for the night. He stopped by the door to the boys room and listened in to hear the soft sounds of snoring before walking to his own room and going to bed.

As he lay in his bed, he wondered what tomorrow would bring. He was relieved to see that Sammy was no longer catatonic and he hoped the kid would be able to eventually forget the terror and trauma that the demon had bestowed upon him. Bobby fell asleep knowing that, at least tonight, Sam was as safe as he could be surrounded by those who would give their lives willingly to keep the kid safe.

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Dean woke up early the next morning feeling a little fuzzy from the pain medication he had taken. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton and he felt something uncomfortably tight around his ribs. He wondered how he had ended up in bed as the last thing he could remember was traveling down the road to Bobby's and his dad making him take some pain pills for his ribs.

He looked around the room and his eyes stopped on Sam's bed in astonishment.

"What the hell" Dean wondered as he saw his dad asleep, leaning against the headboard with Sammy asleep against his chest.

"Damn, I must have really been out of it" he mumbled as he moved to get off the bed.

Hearing the rustling sounds of movement, John opened his eyes to see Dean slowly climbing out of the bed.

"How you doing son?" John asked as Dean looked up upon hearing his voice.

"M'okay dad, just a little sore." Dean said as he nodded towards Sammy and asked "How's he doing?"

"Henderson was able to bring him out of his catatonic state, but he had a pretty bad nightmare last night. He was terrified by the time I got to him and it took me a few minutes to rouse him: John stated truthfully.

Dean became immediately agitated by the fact that Sam had had a terrifying nightmare and that he was totally oblivious to it.

"Why the hell didn't I know about it?" Dean hissed out through clenched teeth.

"Dean you were in drug induced sleep. There is no way you could have known what was going on. Don't you dare start feeling guilty about this" John stated firmly.

'It's just, he's always been my responsibility ya know" Dean remarked as he saw Sammy was starting to stir.

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Sam felt cocooned in safety as he slowly became aware of his surroundings. He knew he was protected just by the arms that held him like a safety net, ready to catch him if he fell.

He heard the murmurings of his dad and brother as they talked about him. He decided to let them know he was awake as he began to stir.

"Good morning" he said as he opened his eyes to focus on Dean watching him from across the room. He sat up and turned to face his dad who was still leaning against the headboard.

"Thanks dad, for keeping away the demons last night and for…well, you know….ah….loving me" Sam stammered out a little bit embarrassed at the chick flick moment he had just initiated.

"Sammy, I'll always try to be there for you if it is within my power to do so. I know I haven't been the best dad in the world, but I do love you boys and would do anything in the world for you, even if it is to wrap you in my arms so you can feel secure enough to sleep through the night" John remarked with sincerity in his words.

John then got up off the bed and said, "I don't know about you two, but I am starving, let's go raid Bobby's kitchen."

Both boys smiled as they got out of bed to follow their father down the stairs.

The Winchesters arrived in the kitchen to find Bobby cooking pancakes, eggs and bacon for breakfast.

"Well it's about damned time you idjits got up. Sit yourselves down so we can all have a decent breakfast" Bobby said as he turned off the skillet with the sizzling bacon on it.

Bobby poured orange juice and coffee for everybody before joining the three hunters at the table. Everybody enjoyed their meal as laughter filled the table with Bobby retelling stories from when the boys were little and had gotten into mischief.

After the meal was over, Sam went out to sit on the porch as Dean followed. Bobby and John stayed behind to clean up the kitchen so the boys could have time to talk.

As Dean stepped outside, he saw Sam sitting on the top step of the porch staring out into the yard. He sat down beside his little brother, close enough that their shoulders were touching.

"Sam, I just want to say I'm sorry for not believing you. I should have known you would never do anything to hurt yourself like that, I just thought with everything going on, that the grief was finally getting to you. And for that I am truly sorry! If I hadn't been so blind, you never would have been hurt they way you were" Dean said as an errant tear trailed down his cheek.

Sam heard the truthfulness in Dean's voice and knew he meant everything he said.

"I won't lie and say that I wasn't hurt by your actions Dean, because I was. It hurt me to my soul just knowing that you didn't believe in me. But, I can understand your reasoning for believing what you did I guess since I still have nightmares of Jess dying."

Sam then faced Dean with candor in his eyes and said "It'll take a little time to regain the trust we had in each other, but with time, I think we'll be able to build that trust again and the bond between us will be stronger than ever."

Dean smiled at his baby brother and said "I know we will Sammy, because I won't have it any other way!"

Sammy grinned and said "Jerk" to which Dean replied "You know it bitch."

**THE END**

_I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Sammy I finally healing and so is the bond between the brothers!_


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